Did some research for a low-budget horror film for Bison Motion Pictures today. "Low budget" doesn’t have to mean “low quality,” and I want this to be the best tale we can tell with the resources available.

I like researching, the process of discovery. Crafting a story is also a process of self-exploration. I’m reflecting on what I want to say and how I want to say it through the characters and their experiences.

Finding the journey at the destination

I went to Crater Lake yesterday, planning to do some writing, but I instead ended up just thinking about where I‘m at and where I‘m heading. I couldn’t find a good place to write; so many tourists crowded the turnouts around the rim, and I didn’t feel comfortable writing in front of people. I don’t normally have that problem. The novel I’d planned to work on is too intimate, perhaps, to write where other people can see me pondering. I know that some of my greatest storytelling strengths lie in sharing those observations and experiences that make me feel most vulnerable. I’m to the stage on the novel where I’m exploring those depths. I suppose that’s the way of relationships in general, and writing does feel like a relationship with the reader. We want people to appreciate our authenticity, but that’s where malice, carelessness and rejection do the most damage. So it’s tempting to keep that self safe and unexposed. Along with that, we face the risk of slipping away from this life having never truly been known at all, in squandering the best of us in the name of protecting it.

Before heading to Crater Lake, I met with producer/director/co-writer Ray Robison to discuss current and future projects. This all still seems a bit like a dream, like I wasn‘t really at the “Sixes and the One Eyed King” premiere on July 25 at DancesWithFilms in Los Angeles. I’m disappointed that I won’t be able to go to Kentucky for the Bluegrass Independent Film Festival in September, but it makes sense to not spend the money to fly back just for the weekend. I’ve never been to Kentucky, and going to support Sixes would be a great reason, but I’m short on vacation and cash. One day …

At this point, it feels good just to have some forward progress. It’s nice to know that another feature is in the works, even another ultra-low-budget one. There’s something addictive about making a movie, from idea creation to crew to promotion. I’m excited to have something closer to production, instead of just the more expensive, based-on-a-true-story script that doesn‘t yet have funding. I have some changes to make on that based on the table reading last week, but I’m holding off until Ray and I decide exactly what to do with it. I do have the sense that it is close to being ready. I’m learning more about the fund-raising aspect of this business and all that goes into making a production happen. I like that feeling of bringing things together and moving them forward. Continuing to learn helps to keep me humble and reminds me that this process involves much work and growth.